My feet seem to be defrosting at last as afternoon is only minutes away. I’ve been cold all morning but must admit that the change of weather is very welcome. Autumn always has some strange effect on my spirit. I’m not sure how to say it. I feel more apt to believe in fantasies perhaps. When it’s raining I’m sure fairies exist or that there might be a secret door to a distant land in the trunk of the next tree. Again I’m a child but still so glad to be an adult. I think perhaps my life has been a bit backwards and now that I’m “all growed up” and married I have a different sort of freedom to be a child than before. Or maybe that’s just silly…
Since I haven’t written in so long my thoughts feel all jumbled and hard to put down. That’s a new experience for me. I remember as soon as I could turn words into sentences on paper I found a diary to fill with gel pen, crayon and marker entries. Life seems to go by faster or maybe just move along in a different way now. Maybe I’ve just less need to write things down, I don’t know, but I picked up my latest journal yesterday and found that the previous entry was a month ago! Wow. I’m not sure how to react. The pen felt awkward in my hand as I tried to scratch out a new entry but gave up before filling even one page. Somehow it feels slightly more natural to type it. Never thought I’d say that. Ok world, you win.
Anyway the point of all this is things are worth recording and putting into beautiful words to share and remember. So whoever reads this and even if no one does I want to continue to write. I was made to write and I don’t think that part of me changed. Only God knows. But I want to give it another chance. No matter how halting, confusing and awkward these first entries may be.
Gosh I’m already fidgety to get up.
The outdoors beckons,